tempestuously: ([not!kamui] what fools these mortals be)
One day, I will accept my age and stop being jealous about what so many people have. That day is not today. I really should just stop paying attention.

And this fucking snow better not mess with my commute tomorrow morning.
tempestuously: (Default)
Yay, there has been good Geass fanfiction again! Loev [livejournal.com profile] grendelity.

I was contemplating putting something up here regarding the pettiness of certain individuals because I actually think giving them attention would be productive this time. But I will bite my tongue.

Instead I will talk about Glambert. PS my roomie doesn't know what S&M is but that's not what's underneath this cut. )

Ugh, must drive home in Thanksgiving traffic. Will die.
tempestuously: ([vk] the art of topping)
I spent most of day making Sis feel better. I think it was effective, even if our trip to Ruby Tuesday produced the worst crabcake known to man. I actually felt violated. Then we played Guitar Hero with controllers instead of guitars, which was LAME but it made her happy so I humored her. This was probably for the best since my attempt to sing the AC/DC Rock Band was whole new levels of sad. All in all, I say the day was productive. Until Sis fell asleep at 7-something and I was left on my lonesome.

I also feel humored lately and this has me mrr. Really, I'd rather not be spoken to at all than be humored, especially on things I post. It only makes me much more angry in the long run. Just saying.

In other news: I should get over my aversion to RPing movie charas vs. series charas. This is why abstaining works for me.

ETA: Why is there a show called Bibleman?
tempestuously: ([wolf] the beast inside)
I have a killer headache and I wish I didn't have to go to work because of it. But I am in a mostly good mood with one exception. I think I'm going to start reevaluating how much attention I pour on other people. I never really notice I do it. But it seems they don't either. And I guess I'm just tired of it always being one-way. Because at this point, I'm not sure what standards I should be reaching for and will just accept it doesn't matter what I do. Bleh.

As for the other stuff that usually goes on this journal, I have been busy with work and it's limited my time for other stuff, but I'll try to get back to it. Maybe.
tempestuously: ([gravi] nobel prize for evil?)
I am completely evil. Sometimes I have impulses to reply to a certain fanfic with "WHAT'S YOUR FREAKIN' PROBLEM" ala Strong Bad to Homestar Runner in their famous interview. Fortunately, a small sliver of my soul still remains and prevents this occurrence. It does not mean that the question ever fails to plague me.
tempestuously: ([not!kamui] what fools these mortals be)
I have a major gripe that I will never get over. I wish I could because I feel bad about holding the grudge. But favoring gay over canon will never sit well with me, even if you are the most awesome writer in the universe. Hot slash does not excuse canon manipulation. I hate being the only one who feels this way. I do. And it's a dumb thing to care about, but when I want to worship a writer and I can't because I can't get behind this concept that everyone and their dog is absolutely in love with, I just get bummed. Oh and for those playing along, no I'm not talking about CG fic.

I need to update this post with what I did over Memorial Weekend. Maybe when my game is done.
tempestuously: ([geass] take it like a man baby)
To preserve what little sanity I have left, I will not be viewing a certain file tonight. Maybe I'll check it out during the weekend when I can get drunk with friends and not care.

I also really really want to leave a review on a smutfic, informing the author that she both gypped me out of the punishment scene she promised, rendered creepy possessive!Schneizel pointless, made Suzaku inconsistent (actually, she's done that through the fic so I guess I shouldn't care) and basically rushed her storyline to write a sequel. I DIDN'T EVEN GET GOOD SMUT OUT OF IT. Woman, if you're going to trash your fic, at least do so with some parting smut. Sigh, stupid guilty pleasure fics.

In other news, the new Easy Mac packets taste EXACTLY like normal Mac & Cheese. It's amazing!
tempestuously: ([cs] someone looks FIERCE)
Lol my fear of the final Geass PD is insane. I just gather from the pictures it's yet another complete waste of time. It makes me sadface and then it builds onto other things to the point where I get moody about hearing things I don't like in other shows too. Argh, I am too character-centric to enjoy anime, I truly am. And it's just disheartening to know my obsession is really over. I really should try to watch Kai or Ghost 07 eventually...

Oh well, Tom's coming over today so I guess I can be semi-productive, and I did get my two awards the other day. They were shiny but made me long for my old job and reminded me how much I hate my old boss for driving me away. I really did love that job more, and I probably always will. I knew that area better than I will ever know anything. Maybe when he leaves, I will go back.

I am also marathoning Oscar songs. I got as far as the 60s, but the music got lame around the time of Shaft. Which I still don't see why that's a song. But I have heard some oldies that I love and didn't listen to in a while like "Say You, Say Me" and "You Must Love Me."
tempestuously: ([wolf] the beast inside)
I am still resentful about R18. I don't care if it makes me seem a bitch in fandom's eyes. Bastards killed my boy and then half-assed the side-canon and now want me to pay for crack. Fuck them. It's NOT EVEN THAT GOOD. OR FUNNY. So yeah, not excited. Not going to get excited. Fucking bastards.

Honestly, I'm mostly pissed because my sound died on my Internet and I can't fix it without restarting my computer, which I'm too lazy to do. Le sigh. This is what I get for trying to stream Howl's Moving Castle.

In cryptic news, apparently my attempts to resolve an issue are not yielding fruit. I can't help being worried. In other cryptic news, what do you do when you suspect someone of doing something to you a while back but get along well with them now? I have a habit of doing this thing called distancing. But I'm also a loser who wants to know who slighted me and evidence speaks for itself. But it's not exactly something I can just ask about either. I really only want so I can ask them why. And yes, I should have gotten over it long before now; I hold grudges.
tempestuously: ([tb] wanna do bad things with you)
Jealous is such an annoying, silly thing. Especially when it comes to fandoms. I don't like people touching what is mine.

Look, I finally upped new icons. Yay.
tempestuously: ([geass] komm susser todd)
I am in a mood so that means it's posting time. I hate when people go anon to bitch about something. I won't say that I don't bitch about things to other people. I do. I like to bitch. But I rarely rarely go anon because I seriously believe anon is a cowardly way of sincerely HURTING other people. And I just can't understand why people want to hurt each other over something so meaningless. Why do you have to attack other people? None of this really matters. It's why I hate every Secret comm out there. I'm telling you now, if you go anon just to snipe at someone, it does severely hurt my respect of you. To say something that bothers you is one thing. But to viciously snipe. No. Why can't people just be fucking nice to each other.

In happier news, I am going to a shiny resort with Tom for the afternoon. I also giggled at JYB's scream in the Geass dub... and cried at some of that pizza dialogue. Also, wtg JYB and Yuri for making those conversations sound even fruitier. Wtg.

Also, I know I ask for crit. And I can take it. I like to fix. I just wish I could help freaking out about it every time it happens. Perfectionist me still has that inner buck at being told she's wrong. Still, don't ever hesitate to tell me so. That instinctive reaction does die down, and I take every comment seriously.
tempestuously: ([lamento] bad things all around)
I've had better nights. But I do get to be alone all night this time. House to myself! I can Net without guilt.

In random news, I take things to seriously and make myself sick. It irks me.

I need to make icons from Turn 8 already.

ETA: "But I do here all be alone all night this time"? I sound like a crack addict.
tempestuously: ([kamui] grrr)
I am again very close to doing something I know I will regret...

In other news, job interview at 2! Shall I fair better this time? I got ample sleep.

ETA: Point 1 is trivial and not a crucial issue. Just me debating over cutting bitches.

ETA2: [livejournal.com profile] quebelly predicts Vampire Knight's Zero will be my new woobie. If it's true, the irony will amuse me far too much.
tempestuously: ([avatar] bitch please)
I love logic. That is all.

Also I am amused that the mood icon for bitchy is Lelouch. Hah!
tempestuously: ([geass] space between)
I am le sad that life always contradicts me. :(

In other news, the writers of the Ashford chronicles are MEAN TERRIBLE TORTUROUS people. And I go cry now. And write my assignment.
tempestuously: ([geass] did i catch your eye)
Well, my Internet has been stupid slow lately, and I'm not sure if it's my computer, my actual Net or LiveJournal. Either way, it's time for a hearty round of bitch, mock, squee.

1. Bitch: I don't like it when I come up with a fairly creative idea with someone and have loads of fun with it but nobody notices. Then when someone with more notoriety repeats said idea, it's suddenly the most amusing thing ever. Nayami needs validation ok.

2. Mock: RPs that seem to believe Lelouch is a prolific cusser. I don't care if you're playing HS crack. If you are playing *Lelouch* you should not be cursing every other line regardless of how pissed he is. Lelouch is so much better at delivering poignant insults without resorting to crass language. On this note, I also must shake my head at RPs that feel every character is a slutho who switches between partners at the drop of a hat. Reference to CG: Lelouch = NOT EXPERIENCED. And seriously why would you not want to play that aspect to its fullest? It's hilarious! Consistency is also nice. R2!Suzaku is not going to try to kill Lelouch and then throw tea parties or whatever. I know it's not nice to bash people's interpretations, but there is such thing as DOING IT WRONG.
ETA: How come RP guys can be sluthos all they want and get involved in relationships right after coming off previous ones or be in relationships AS they are still in another one? People love it, nay *fangirl* it to insane levels. "OMG they're so hot!" BUT if a girl gets involved in the scenario, something is drastically wrong? Y'all horny bastards need to work on perspective and equality k. I don't know I guess I break from the majority of the fandom world because I actually *like* committed relationships with ONE person. Sluthos/bicycles don't amuse me at all.

3. Squee: [livejournal.com profile] kadekmoment, you have no idea how much our fluffy chan RP brightened my day last night! I must copy it and save it for prosperity. Such a tease. ;;
tempestuously: ([not!kamui] better to reign in hell)
In response to something discussed the other day, I really just want to say that copy/pasting serious conversations between you and another person is always going to be non-kosher with me. Again, maybe it's because I'm a journalist, and the name of the game is getting people's permission or at least their acknowledgment before you go sharing what they're telling you with the world. Then again, I could never see anyone willingly sharing anything hurtful. To know that this does exist deeply upsets me, and I do not think it's something that should be so easily brushed off. It is very high school.

That's really all I can say on that.

Oh and Suzaku's new rapist is hot.

I win

Jan. 31st, 2008 01:22 am
tempestuously: ([kamui] kamui wants your soul)
I'm mad pissed. The grunts are not supposed to be this friggin' hard. They are eating all my items! Worse, they make me fight crazyass!Suzaku right afterwards. What I hate about this game is when fighting Suzaku, I never know whether or not I'm supposed to win. Sometimes he'll fight normal and sometimes he'll land 16-hit combos. I'm going to have to level, but I doubt even that will do me any good. Damn it.

I'm also pissed because I did something I wasn't supposed to, and as usual my timing is spectacular. I love ending my nights friggin' pissed.

ETA: Crisis averted. Finished Lap 1. I guess I just needed to level up some and upgrade my third guy's mech. Cornelia was actually a much easier boss than the random grunts before her. Go figure. I do love fighting with Gawain and seeing Lelouch and C.C. being so sexy together. Or watching Suzaku go crazy go nuts. I will have no sleep for work, but I am happy. I can start the game where I can force Suzaku to be my friend forever. This calls for a smiley. :D Good times.
tempestuously: ([kamui] grrr)
Well, I'm kind of turned off Pidgin for a while, seeing as I just got virused without even clicking anything. Tom will just have to talk to me on gmail like everyone else. I was on invisible too. Argh, I hate being up this early for work. I have to get up equally early tomorrow too since apparently work has decided I DON'T NEED SLEEP EVER.

In regards to a certain issue that will remain unnamed, I am not the type to f-lock so I'll just say that it is really between two people and everyone else should keep their distance. Things will address themselves that way without causing a mess.

Ugh, I failed at my goal yesterday, although I did get my work done. I will have to set it again today and hope for the best. I can blame my nerves right? Right.

God, I love Asshole Mario. I think it's an addiction. And Evil!Lelouch aka The Cardinal may be back in NoN.
tempestuously: ([fakir] dancing with myself)
I won't lie. When I am under extreme stress, I find it very difficult to deal with things that will further stress me out, resulting in my snapping and being useless to everyone. Case in point, work over the past two holidays. Again, holidays are not fun for a person of my profession. They mean more work and less time to do it in. Today, I spent the better part pretending to be the equivalent of a full staff. When I thought I was done and could go home, I got a call and had to cover another assignment. I managed that one. About two hours later, I got another call and this assignment was much more difficult. Calls kept pouring in. I had to clear up my phone for practically the entire night.

I am furious on so many levels lately. Easily angered. Anger is then replaced with forced indifference toward problems. I cannot fix my situation. I can do nothing but watch it worsen. I don't know how in the name of God anyone expects me to be any good to them when it comes to helping them feel better. I am not in a good place myself. The tiniest things set me off. I nearly took off the Geek Squad guy's head when he came into my house this morning. I am noticing little issues in other things much more easily and taking them much harder. I am pissed that I can't just do things the way I want without having to conform to a standard that I honestly DISLIKE. I am a character analyst. I like getting in their heads. I like exploring them. Humor is not, nor has ever been my strong-point. I don't think there's anything bad about this; it just... makes things difficult. And I am worried and jealous and so many other unpleasant things that I would rather do without.

I think I am trying to do too much for too many people. Nayami only has so much to give. Between work, family, RL friends and Net friends, I am exhausted. I run myself ragged, answering phones, filling in for people, breaking up fights and spending hours analyzing over messaging systems. I don't mind. This is not me complaining and I don't ever want anyone to think they can't turn to me for help. I just want people to understand that if you do hit a time/day when I'm NOT able to help you, it does not mean I don't care. It means I'M FUCKING TIRED. And I shouldn't feel bad about that. Because I do try to be open and there for people as much and whenever they need me. But sometimes... I can't answer every call. Sometimes I want to be with my family. Or by myself and just having some me time. Not really doing anything. I am quickly approaching my breaking point.

AND I AM SERIOUSLY PISSED AT WHOEVER IS TO BLAME FOR ONE OF THESE ISSUES. As a reference point, if you read this journal, it's not you. I really want to talk to this person so I can understand what is in their head. Because I dislike being made a fool out of. And worse than that I hate dishonesty. I wish sometimes people would learn the difference between a game and the real world. Because it's so easy to mix up the two when dealing with the Internet. Like my Father says, the Internet makes things easy.

I am going to shut up now because I'm tired and ranty and will probably just keep going. I'll try to post something more worth your time tomorrow.


tempestuously: (Default)

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