Memoirs of the Angst-Bitch

I am in a Christmas mood because, despite appearances, I actually love Christmas, mostly because I like seeing people happy with things I give them. So today I shall do my usual list of xmas songs I love and those that make me take a pick-axe to my radio. Also, this movement for a svelte Santa needs to die a painful death. Oh and I like sappy Christmas music or things that sound cool so don't recommend any edgy Christmas songs because chances are, I won't like it. ( The List )

My random AU RP has made me want to switch my non-hybrid werewolves in Heritage into vampires since I do so little with the werewolf elements for the non-hybrids. That and I like the werewolf/vampire not!romance idea it would induce. I'll have to debate.

Also, I might be a little late on this, but man Michael Jordan was a douche in his Hall of Fame speech. I came across this story while hearing about Jordan sueing Jewel for using his sneakers in some add.

In random non-sequitors, reading various things in various places reminded me of something. I like to say things on this journal. Many of the things I say are very political and welcome to debate. Personal things (such as my moods and why) ... not so much. I say things to get them off my chest. I neither want sympathy or someone to tell me their take on said personal things. It's a little thing but I thought it should be clarified.

I should read more, as it makes me want to refine my writing ideas. I finally have some ideas for issues in Heritage that don't involve amnesia. Plus, I get to fuck up San's "family" some more, which is always a pretty picture and make Ari a bit darker. I probably shouldn't listen to songs like "Gravity of Love" or Within Temptation's "Somewhere" when I write them though. Just need to work out some more logistics about the missing princes and I should be able to do ACTUAL CHAPTERS ZOMG. Hmm, Elkin's still not killing enough people yet. So hard to balance royal storyline and werewolf storyline. I swear the werewolf thing is practically a gimmick at this point, but it adds a tasty twist so I don't mind. Lysander is still friggin' awesome.

I'm going to finish Casshern just as soon as I call my store about my contacts. I have it on good authority that I'm going to be depressed. But after what Episode 23 did, it would be hard for me not to be depressed at Casshern. Sob. I also have to go shopping for food sometime today, wash clothes, buy things off the Net and... I know there was something else.

ETA: Fuck, I let my prescription expire again, and now it's going to be a bitch to get an appointment so I can buy new lenses. The world is a cruel place that hates me.

Oh Geass, ye be a cruel cruel mistress. But I do love when Taniguchi and Okouchi ping my fangirly buttons. Hee! As translated by Celiss: "It's a relationship you can't describe in a word. To simply call it friendship isn't quite right." I love you evil people. Bonus points to Okouchi for explaining this in a way that doesn't make you go "... ew." Mm interview love. (Note, this is probably old news but the other stuff in the interview kind of temporarily hijacked my attention when I first read it. That's all I'll say on that...) Also totally stoked about the fantasy AU fic someone's writing.

Back to RL, my fangirl plans are not as concrete as I once hoped. Sigh. At least I'm writing again. I'm all about the brothers Rafe lately. Marq and Elkin might finally be reaching slashy level. I need to make Marq more touchy... Also need to make Elkin more straight. Still working out the poor man's mentality. Poor wolf king.

Must remember to watch Pushing Daisies tonight.

Also on my journalism ethics front, I can only continue to quote Spider-man: "With great power comes great responsibility." You guys are failing when Pew says you're kinda biased. Of course, Pew had to say it in the most ass-backwards way possible. No wonder the commenters are all up in arms. November, why aren't you here yet? This politics obsession is my lamest one yet.

Reincarnation fic breaks my brain. 0_o Probably because I'm so terribly fond of writing reincarnations myself, and they are always wangsty little bitches who don't know who they really are. Waah I need to write Psychosis again. Lucian is probably feeling unloved. On Heritage writing front, I think I've settled my climax issue. Now to work on de-angstifying Lysander.

I am super convinced I am screwed when it comes to work. Very important people keep leaving, and the economy is not kind to my position. My co-worker even joked about it today, which sent me into depression for the rest of the afternoon. Gee, maybe I don't want to talk about how expendable I am and the prospect of losing my job. You think? I guess I'll just have to ride it out and hope for the best. As with so many other things in my life right now.

Yes, the lyric subjects return to signify how happy I am that Rascal Flatts is releasing a "best of" CD. They better get all the good ones like "God Bless the Broken Road," "Stand," "Everyday" and this new one "Here." I love Rascal Flatts so much. They are great at producing writing music.

As for why I've been writing in this so much lately, I'm restless and it gives me something to do. Oh that's right. I have to remake my header sometime this weekend. Probably going to use "Viva la Vida" lyrics for they are snazzy.

ETA: I have since realized I have not met my quota for the week and would not want anyone to be disappointed so I shall add in something about Lelouch having absolutely no dignity but still looking strangely hot in his recent stripping pic from the magazines. o/

I'm such a dork. I was driving home from work and listening to Peter Cetera's "Glory of Love" from The Karate Kid. Then for some reason, my brain suddenly went "OMG Ariel/San." And now I can't take myself seriously. It's probably just Ari's hero complex. They're such reverse master/servant. Probably because San pretends to be such a pushover, except when he's flashing those fangs and saving Ari's ass. Stupid influences and their encouraging me to make my werewolves more gay. I blame Ari.

( Tsubasa manga spoilers of relevance )

TomTom says I can chill at his place this weekend. So much happiness. We're going to rewatch Heroes and be dorks. Then there will be Dr. Who.

I told someone the other day that telling me a series is gay is not enough to make me watch it. This is true. Gay is fangirly and pretty. What I want is a.)psychosis or b.) partnership. If the said gay has either of these elements and in a non-cliched way, then yes you have me SOLD. On this note, I wish I had more time to watch/read new series. I still have to rewatch a certain magical series.

I heard this song on the radio today that I really liked and wanted to listen to on YouTube when I got home, but I was feeling queasy most of the day and just wanted to get out of my car so I missed its name. It was on 98 rock and included lines about still wanting to live or something. I really wish I could remember anything else, but between the 15 minutes I took to read Eyeshield 10 (so not fair that Yuki didn't make the team. wtf Hiruma?) and my checking to see if the new Death Note movie was ready, I forgot almost everything. I'm quite pissed about it since I was considering an AMV once I tracked down the lyrics to see if they were an appropriate match. I even tried to look it up on the Billboards or recent rock song charts and came up empty. If I could just remember one line, I would be all right. Damn my short-term memory. I know it also involved something about red or angry eyes. Argh this is so frustrating!

I have also decided to give myself a new challenge in Heritage by presenting two possible love interests for the main character and giving equal validity to both. Meaning both Ari and Isis will get their shot at San. This should give me a chance to give a larger role to my main girl Isis, who seriously gets shafted otherwise. As of yet, I'm undecided if San shall actually end up with either. I plan on further complicating things by making it appear that Isis and Ari are actually interested in each other at first. Either way, 18-year-old Ari is going to look like such a cradle robber. Another key character may or may not still be involved in a love triangle with Isis. In the end, Heritage's main focus is variations of family and love so the romances are not that important.

Everyone seems to be enjoying the Monster lately. I just ran into two separate posts discussing it. I'm inspired to rush out and grab the manga, but so much is already out because unlike some of my other series, it comes out on a non-retarded schedule. I guess I could use my trip to the mall as a joint project since I still need to pick up Xenosaga III. I can't play it yet since I have't beat II. I'm now deciding whether I should spend the week I was going to spend with Tom watching Chrono Crusade or playing Xenosaga II. I'll need to bring the Playstation up to my room again so it's closer to the strategy guide. That way there will be no more of that damn missing of Awakenings. That and I'm not playing through Labyrinthos' puzzles again without the guide since I already put enough hours into originally solving those on my own. The box/door puzzle was the bane of my existance that night. Just thinking about it makes me want to chuck the controller at the TV. Uh, I also have to cash my check and give Father what is owed. I shall have no money left again. *sobs*

I've been rethinking my werewolf story through again. When will I ever make a concrete decision? Never. I'm thinking about replacing my idea of Seraph being directly related to the hybrid werewolves with her just being the one responsible for the Lycan's genesis. That way she's not just something special to the hybrids, Casandra particularly. It will be easier to make her a forgotten legend as well. Plus, it will give the Lycans another reason for creating the hybrids. Heritage is just becoming a more and more awkward title for this thing. Part of me wants to name it "The Prince and the Wolf" just for crack's sake.

In other news, I finally decided what to do with Damien in Psychosis. I like it. Although there is absolutely no foreshadowing before the third act and I will have to go back and revise. It's a much cleaner plan than my original ending. Kinda.

Damn, spent too long writing and now there's no time for banking.

I'm not eating turkey again. I'm sick of passing out at 11 p.m. By the way, Pride and Prejudice works much better for me when not in a mini-series format. Although I found myself wanting to scream "Will someone do SOMETHING?" at half the characters, they amused me, the mother and Mr. Darcy particularly. Tom is heading down to check out Rent today. Trying to set something up so Dana, he and I can have a screening. And he promises agreeance for the x-mas party, also awesome.

Not only did I fall asleep last night, I passed out during Black Cat. It wasn't even boring, and I was just gone. Still got to find the Yugioh that I was too lazy to turn on this morning. I've gotten so bad that I was awake at 8 a.m., but I just didn't feel like turning on my tv because that required getting up. Pathetic.

Raul and Ari have been getting development latley. Not sure why. Something about how Ari believes Raul should do whatever he tells him because of Raul's social standing. These too really border on the slave/master fic at times. I like playing with the idea but don't want it to become that in actuality. Still trying to settle on look for Raul. I think I'm going back to medium length hair all messy. Need to look up images again.

And people who comment on Psychosis should learn that just saying "oooh I love Luce/Nick" and "You're story is good" does not count as concrit and does not earn you permission for the rest. Feedback is the keyword here. Don't review me like we're talking on AIM. Though I should hold my tongue since I still have a chunk of people to add to the list. I haven't added since I posted a chapter. It just doesn't seem right. ;_; Also, I'm well aware that I forget Kat. I suck.