Memoirs of the Angst-Bitch

I think I'm done feeling down on myself now. I spent too long last night nearly driving myself into catatonic depression over various things, and I'm tired of it.

Why is it whenever my father asks for the most simple things on Father's Day or his birthday or Christmas, they always take me hours and hours to find. Then, half of the time, I get the entirely wrong thing. I guess I should be happy parking and the service lines weren't too bad since I'm doing my shopping the day before the event. Hey, I got the card on time.

I want to like Bianca in Banana Fish, and I understand that he is a man of his word and bound to his duty, but he really makes things difficult for Ash. I'm torn between loving Eiji for being so badass with his guns and wanting to strangle his ass for doing nothing but getting Ash into an even greater pickle than before. I also love Cain and Sing. Yau-Si, I'm falling out of favor with, even with all his intricacies, because his spoiled-prince nature could be blamed for Bianca's behavior. I don't hate Yau-Si, I just don't love him for the moment.

Aww, no more icontest for me. But I won't be angry for once since I believe I got farther than I ever should have with some of the stuff I sent in. I love making icons; I just wish each one didn't take me more than two hours.

Banana Fish 12 killed me. Killed me completely. And with my previous spoilericious knowledge, I'm going to be in a bad place emotionally and mentally when the last volume is released. I think this volume and a bit of the 11th one disprove the claim that the Banana Fish art isn't pretty. I love the Banana Fish style dearly. Ash is dead sexy. And when Ash is sad, you *feel* it. It's not forced angst or overly dramatized like so many other mangaka produce. It's genuine. And it's draining. I hate being depressed, but I have nothing but powerful respect for anyone who can reduce me to tears with just a few lines. "I know there's at least one person in this world who cares about me. Who doesn't want anything from me. Do you have any idea what that's like? I never did. Not once in my entire life - until now. And that's worth more to me than anything else." Damn, Ash. Just damn. Why don't more people appreciate this series? It may not have every page bursting with gorgeous guys or killer moves, but it's one of the best written manga I've ever read. Yes, it requires you to think since the story is complex. Yes, it is depressing as anything. Yes, it's not always pretty. But when it comes to an emotional reaction, few manga have been able to nail it like this one. For me personally, none. I look through my collection and can't find one that affects me like Banana Fish does. It has ever since the first day I picked up an original release of one of the volumes back in 2002 at a college comic shop, tracked it down through Pulp magazine and finally acquired the first volumes through Viz's re-release. And hey, Gackt approves. Do you really want to ignore Gackt's favorite manga?

Sorry to teh posse for not being around last night. Eye and head exploded at the same time.

Work's been going much better now. I'm back into my interviewing groove and when I'm not getting warned not to do stupid things like open certain folders, I'm fitting into the staff. Already wrote two articles. Now if my damn toe would quit irritating my comfy work shoes, I'd be good. I might just take a hacksaw to the thing.

Bought Banana Fish 6 and 7, Yugioh 5 (the one where Kaiba and Yami duel in Death-T), and Legal Drug 3 (probably the last we're going to get). I don't understand why Banana Fish never gets enough love. It deserves it. It manages to take a homocidal gang leader and give him emotional and the ability to break down without it becoming unbelievable. It also does a nice job with subtle slash since I am in denial that Ash and Eiji are just friends. The pictures Yoshida likes to draw that aren't included in the manga say otherwise, and from what I hear so does the epilogue side-story, which I need to track down. Ash and Eiji are probably the second sweetest couple, possibly right under the Haruka/Michiru love. When they are together, they are funny and heart-wrenching. I just love how Ash knows he has to give up Eiji for Eiji's protection but continues to hold onto him for as long as he can because he needs the comfort Eiji provides. Also props to Yoshida for making Eiji older than Ash and still buckle under his rule. It amazes me how the manga can be so rough and raw for a shoujo manga and yet manage to give Ash some shots where he's pure sex. He lives up to his reputation in the manga. I need to find me some color Ash shots. I want to see those deep green wildcat eyes. That and Yut-Lung is a mesmerizing villain.

Brother and I were playing Star Wars with kitties today. Louis ended up being Luke and Nikki of course got pinpointed as Anakin. I think brother was going for Palpatine but he kept trying to lure my kitties over to the Dark Side. I, being the loyal Obi-Wan, wasn't having none of that. So after Louis-Luke freaked out at his coaxing and hightailed it downstairs to Yoda our singing fish, I tried to win back Nikki-Anakin from my evil brother. I promised Nikki-Anakin that the Jedi way promised cookies and she hopped right into my arms. That's right, if you want to lure back your rogue Jedi remember to promise food. Screw that want not, need not blather. Go for the stomach!

Been reading lots of Daiken lately. Might be time to break into another Digimon marathon or track down some later Digimon 02 subs. I want to hear Paku Romi flirt as the Kaiser and as my sweet boy Ken.