Memoirs of the Angst-Bitch

I really hate that my room is an embarrassment to God and man and I need to clean it like yesterday, but I'm too damn lazy to put forth the motivation. I'm definitely going to have to have it done by Wednesday night somehow.

It scares me that I came to visit Gabi so we could go see more theater, but it was so hot that we ended up staying inside and talking about XXXholic, writing and sometimes Geass. UNTIL 4:30 A.M. I just. I don't even know where my time went. I meant to watch LLL. Something tells me theater may not be happening today. Fail on every possible level, self. It did at least make me realize that I need to get back to writing ASAP, although now I'm afraid I put too much thought into my plot/characters and they will feel forced. I can't win.

Also, my cat bill was like $400 for both cat. I love my babies, but damn that hurts my funds, especially with Otakon this week. I will actually have to limit my spending. But I guess it's okay because there is not anything I'm super obsessed with. I might look for some Durarara merchandise and of course manga and probably buy some more anime. But I think my days of nutso purchases may finally be behind me. At least I hope so. I'm sure I tell myself this every year.

And I'm having thoughts but not entirely sure where I want to go with them. I just suck at time management, and it gets in the way of so many things I want to do.

( Writing meme time! This time with bonus Psychosis fanart that I've dug out of my old folders. We're getting down to wire on this meme. :( )

Do you like National Security? Do like knowing what your government is doing with your money? Do you enjoy having your mind BLOWN by the reality of this answer? Then 'Top Secret America' is for you.

Seriously, the sheer scope of this project is amazing on every level and the revelations are even more stunning. I love this stuff! Warning, this is long, complex and demands your attention to take it all in. But if you care anything about what's involved in keeping our country safe, you should read it. The writer is well-known and worked on the expose about the horrible condition of the Walter Reed military hospitals several years ago.

I am reading "The Way of Shadows" upon insistence by Graham. So far, I like. The characters are interesting and the world-building doesn't make me want to pick up any ice picks. My one complaint is that the book is LONG. Thankfully, it reads fairly fast and seems to have gotten some good reviews when it first came out.

My power went out last night for three hours and I was stuck with roomie, who thought my decision to watch "The Road to El Dorado" on her laptop was her invitation to tell me all about her romantic life. And cry about it. Why god why?

( Pick up my lovely writing meme again. )

My attempts to set up my BlueTooth are sad indeed.

According to that "Who Do You Write Like" meme, my nonfiction writing reads like Dan Brown, my fiction writing reads like Ian Fleming. Awesome, I am now working on James Bond: Werewolf Assassin. I expect a movie in the near future.

And in order for this post not be entirely boring and self-centered, I shall say that I care not one lick about Edward Norton being booted from "The Avengers" since I think Eric Bana was the better Hulk and only suffered from a bad movie premise. Critics of the world be damned. In other movie news, I refuse to watch Airbender just as I refuse to willingly watch any more of the Twilight genre. I don't find watching these movies for mocking worth the effort it takes for me to stomach the god-awful.

My eye keeps twitching. Should I be concerned? My cat also seems to be having this problem, and I have no qualms about saying I will likely address her first.

( 30 Days of Writing Meme )

15. Midway question! Tell us about a writer you admire, whether professional or not!

Though not a fiction writer, I am absolutely smitten with the story-telling finesse shown by Gene Weingarten. His ability to present a tale piece by tantalizing piece and constantly grip the reading is something I aspire to myself. He has a true talent for humor, humanity and pathos. He used to write for the Washington Post and still does the occasional piece, although as more of a guest. Weingarten is also a Pulitzer winner.

In the fiction world, I would go with Anlarria of the Code Geass AU mafia fanfic "Primary Gain." I choose Anlaaria over professional writers because I really enjoy watching her experiment with ideas and improve her style with every chapter. She has a way of presenting characters in a very and sometimes awkwardly realistic way so that every nick and scratch is exposed and nobody is purely good or evil. It's very much in the Geass vein of writing, but she makes it her own, building upon every plot with an ever-enriching world and character-base. Her ability to capture the feel of mafia life, cop life and royal life is simply stunning.

I spent the better part of my drive home following a truck that had "NIP" as its license plate and contemplating what that could possibly mean and what it said about the driver. They also had a FMA alchemy symbol so I'm a bit stumped.

I want to either go to the Capitol Fringe Festival this weekend or check out that Normal Rockwell exhibit at the American History Museum. Not sure which will win out.

I learned more today about LeBron James than I ever wanted to know, and it's entirely my fault. Speaking of rants, what's all this fuss about Wonder Woman's new look? It seems decent to me. Yeah, it's not Amazon-ish so I guess you could say it doesn't exactly relate to her roots, but it doesn't look bad. Then again, I never had too much trouble with the X-Men movies ditching the stupid uniforms for the black ones. I was also recommended the Kevin Smith Batman comic and told the Joker seems more gay. What's the usual opinion on this thing?

Your poliquote of the week:

"I think it would be fine if the school wanted to allow the gay students attend a separate prom, they just can't call it a prom. Maybe a "civil formal social gathering". If they call it a prom, then that erodes the sanctity of proms."

"That's right. If we allow them to go to the prom, then what's next? Some guy will want to take an alligator as his date, and then the school halls will be filled with satan-worshipping necrophiliacs. It can't be allowed!"

Genius!

( 30 Days of Writing Meme )

11. Who is your favorite character to write? Least favorite?

RP-wise: Lelouch is the fave. Duh. Least favorite is Eddie but only because his voice is HARD. I still love you, Eddie.

Fiction-wise: Dominic wins hands-down as favorite. He's a nice challenge because he's one of those characters that very rarely says what he's thinking. Unless he's pissed at someone and then he spares no words. Dominic is also fun because he is one big mess of layers that shift, depending on who he's talking to and what's going on. Sometimes he may be an outright bastard, sometimes he may be gentle and sometimes he may be completely innocent. His voice is also fun in that it's very direct and authoritative. Dominic does not take shit, and you better damn well do what he says. Plus, Dominic has Wolf, which is also fun to write, especially when he's fighting and bloody. I can always find an excuse to get Dominic bloody.

As far as least favorite, it's a toss-up between Ty and Angelique. Ty is hard because he's more of a plot point than an actual character, despite all of the important characteristics I've given him. He's also fickle and too nice. I also worry he comes off too gay. He is just not well incorporated into the story so I never quite no what to do with him. I have written at length about my issues with Angelique, which can mostly be summarized by saying I find her boring. I have no idea what her character is, she's too cliched and her voice is pure murder on me since it's supposed to be all New Agey and I fail at that. Both need severe revision.

I am filled with rage that Airbender exceeded expectations this weekend. I do hope it dies on the re-watch scale. I don't want to hold it against anyone for going to see it but well, I will possibly be more critical should profits green-light a sequel.

In positive Avatar news, my brother and I discovered Avatar Extras on NickToons the other night and annoyed the hell out of my father by reciting all of the random pop-ups.

I am still failing at journal-swapping because I possibly have hoarder mentality. Over a username! There are no words.

I am totally geeking out over We Are the Fallen. It's my new guilty pleasure. Fake Evanescence is awesome!

I realize I forgot to mention that my writing meme was courtesy of catystorm.

( 30 Days of Writing Meme )

8. What's your favorite genre to write? To read?

I guess I'm a fantasy writer at heart, although my style is more anime-influenced than traditional-fantasy influenced. I'm more about the characters than the world. (I should probably care more about world-building, as I'm starting to realize my rules/setting make no damn sense. Sob.) My writing falls within the realistic fantasy realm, where it's mostly real world rules, but then magic also exists. I would also say I'm a slash writer, except I don't want my writing defined by the relationships I write but rather by the story itself. Thus, fantasy. My reading preferences also trend toward fantasy, although I tend to loathe series with intensive world-building.

Dammit Kushina arc. Now I have to catch up on Naruto. Seriously, though, this arc is really reawakening my interest in Kishimoto's storytelling. It's really touching. Initial interest sparked by this breathtaking fanart.

I have also decided that Gabi and I will be torturing ourselves with the hilariously-named The Legend of the Legendary Heroes of Legend (one of those legends may not be part of the actual title.) It makes me think high fantasy meets Geass. Yes, this is entirely based on the main's freaky eye power and his being voiced by FukuJun. Though there looks to be some slash potential and preview hinted at some nice darkness in the storyline. It will probably be fail, but I'm a Geass junkie so anything that can channel it for me earns at least my perusal.

I also want to break 3,000 on this damn Word Bubbles game. If only I didn't keep getting "pap." What the fuck are you supposed to do with pap once you get past the many iterations of "paper." Stupid game.

I have more political spazzery but I'll save that for another post.

I am also attempting some theology world-building for "Psychosis," being that I realized I have no fucking clue where the angels come from, what the magic is or what's the genealogy for half the cast. I also want to work better on Lucian and Tashira's living situation so that it's plausible and possibly better incorporate Lorelei into the story if it can be managed. I'm just running into a few bumps with her connection to Dominic and the threat of losing the important moment where Lucian and Dominic reconcile while Lucian is recovering at her house after a fight.

That means it's onto the meme!

( 30 Days of Writing Meme )

4. Tell us about one of your first stories/characters!

Lol, I just told Graham this story the other day. My first characters were descendants of Chibi-Usa. Yes, from Sailormoon. I don't remember much about them, except that they had their own talking male cat and such. I cared more about their children though. I shamelessly ripped off the Black Lady plot, only with twins. Basically, the girl twin goes nuts and the boy twin has to bring her back. Or was it the other way around? Well, there was a lot more violence and blood. I know the Silver Crystal became some scarily powerful sword. Hmm, I wonder what became of that sword...

Piggy-backing on this was the second part of the story, where the twins each meet up with the opposite sex member of these demon unicorn twins. The demon twins are warring against each other and each trying to win the other twins to their side. I bet anyone who's reading this no longer has any idea what I'm talking about. Anyway, both demon twins die at the end, although they are redeemed and remember that they love each other. D'aww. If this sounds familiar, you've probably guessed why.

Or if you want earlier, there's my Jack London-styled stories about a Samoyed (Sapphire) who has to return home to his owner and enters into a wolf pack, a boy and his pet tiger (Hunter) and some stray dog (Rogue) who owns his own city pack. As guessed from the reference, none of these animals talked. I wish I could remember more about them than just the basics. I bet I still have the story maps lying in my closet somewhere. I never throw anything away. Oh and waaaay back, there was the "Incredible Journey" rip-off about two dogs and a cheetah.

Dear Country Music Channel on my radio,

I am fully prepared to listen to Twilight news from 98 Rock or even my light rock channel. I understand it's popular and must be covered for the sake of those who care.

However, I do not expect to be bombarded by BOTH the Team Edward and the Team Jacob fangirl chant right after listening to Garth Brooks. WTH, country music?

Sincerely,

Your annoyed listener.

Also, Glambert fans tell WaPo reviewer just what they think of his review of their flashy messiah. Note, there are many things you can snub Glambert for, but his voice isn't one of them. I admit that I'd totally go to one of his shows.

Now that that's covered, let's have the stupid political statement of the week. This one comes to your from our esteemed candidate Sharron Angle, best known for her crazy mutterings about how people might start to consider their Second Amendment rights if the government continues on its current course. What does the lovely Miss Angle have to say today?

"The tenet of the separation of church and state is an unconstitutional doctrine," she said.

Really, it just speaks for itself.

In other news, I have decided Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" represents the tangled relationship between Dominic and Ty. I hate myself.

( 30 Days of Writing meme. )

2. How many characters do you have? Do you prefer males or females?

... Dear god what? Um, six main in "Psychosis" and about 10 miscellaneous of relative importance. There's more but they're the ones that matter. "Heritage" has four main and I don't know more than 10 miscellany. I write six RP charas. I won't include my unwritten stuff for now.

I prefer males because I am more comfortable writing them in violent situations, which is what I enjoy. I feel uneasy if I'm abusing my female characters to the same extent as I abuse my males. This is probably hypocritical but it's a relatability issue. I also tend to be more interested in the relationship politics around males.


I am considering doing a more productive version of the "Tell Me" meme, but I'd rather restrict it to my Friends List because I don't particularly care what people outside that list care about me, with a few exceptions being some people I respect but haven't yet gotten around to friending. Either way, I might do it later. Or not. I'm indecisive.

After taking a peak at the end of "Nightmare of Nunnally," I've decided I might actually buy it. It's not really Geass, but it's also not that far distanced from it anyway. I really like some of the creativity that went into it, even though it's clearly a girls fighting manga and the names for the various geasses are ridiculous. But it has some fun twists with Euphie, Lelouch and even Nunnally that I think add interesting layers to the story. I do wish it could cut down on the creepy loli-obsession. At least the final volume had none of that. And Rolo vi Britannia is fucking nuts.

"The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms" did not immediately endear itself to me, as it committed the worst possible error for me when it comes to fantasy. DO NOT INFO-DUMP YOUR WORLD BUILDING. As I have said countless times, I despise world-building, and it's one of the reasons I stray away from fantasy fiction. I can warm myself up to it if it's handled gradually and properly integrated into the story. Using a word/place you made up every other sentence? THAT'S INFO-DUMPING. I seriously wanted to throw the book out the window for the first chapter. Luckily, things got more interested in Chapter 2 and I calmed down. But yeah, the tribes, cities, royals, gods and whatever else they were rambling about every ten seconds definitely raised my ruff a bit. I have this nagging problem about needing to know what the hell people are talking about in the first chapter. Good example of word-building? Hunger Games. Take your time. Ease the reader into it. Don't expect me to know what the hell a Amn or Darre is because I don't care.

Second writing bit went well. I managed to make Lucian much less forgiving and irreverent and generally fixed the mood so it doesn't read like bad fanfic. It's my favorite writing piece I've done in a while. I want to poke a bit more at my first piece since I think the beginning still reads forced, but then I might get back to more social things. Here's hoping.

So for reasons unknown to me, I have been on a crazy sleep schedule where I sleep half the night and then wake up and read my old original fiction until 5 a.m. I'm going to try not to do that tonight. Still, re-reading my stuff taught me much about how my writing has changed through the years, emphasized how incredibly fucked up I made my characters and made me pine to return to it. I actually think I want to return to Psychosis more than I want to work on Heritage. I will never again create a character as epically special as my Dominic. He is my greatest accomplishment. It's sad to know that since I have so many other stories I want to write. But it's just made me moody about not finding time to write again.

I think I'm going to try a short writing exercise of re-writing a passage to cut down on wordiness and make it sharper and make the dialogue not suck.

Things I learned through a re-read of my pairing:
- Lucian cries too damn much. Seriously, he cries every two chapters. That said, he is incredibly violent and punches people regularly.
- Dominic is surprisingly more feminine than Lucian. It's how he views things and what he thinks about. Hint: Lucian thinks about SEX.
- Lucian's co-dependency on Dominic is DEEPLY UNHEALTHY. Yet I love this so it's not changing. But he does forgive Dominic too fast sometimes, considering that Dominic literally tortures him and beats the ever-loving shit out of him. I need to work on that.
- Some of my dialogue reads so scripted that it's painful, especially when characters are hurt.
- Huge chunks of my narration could be cut and not affect the story at all.
- Vincient, Ty and Angelique are all horrible characters.
- I can't write young Dominic to save my life.
- In cataloging all the ways Dominic has hurt Lucian throughout the story I get: hitting, slapping, punching, straining wrist, choking, trying to slit his throat, burning, biting in his wolf form, throwing around, dislocating his arm and trying to shoot in the head. Wow. Dominic is an asshole.
- I need to work better on voice all around. Sometimes they all sound the same.
- Dominic and Lucian continue to be the most fucked-up pairing I have ever written.

I tortured Tom with Lestat and Percy Jackson. Best night ever.

In other news, I want to write my OCs again. My werewolves are feeling neglected, as are my demon and shape-shifter. I don't even know whether I can still write Nicky without his voice blending into something else. I might be able to manage Lucian.

I was also looking up names the other day since I forgot why I originally named my Heritage characters. I forgot my whole connection between Elkin (of God) and Ariel (lion of God) since Ari's mom is a power-hungry bitch who dreamed of an exceptionally strong werewolf son. I still have to debate on whether his mom is a werewolf. And I definitely forgot that Lysander means both liberator and release of man, which is so perfect for his complex character. People were mocking the use of Lys as a nickname so I've decided to use it to shun them all. So hard to keep a coherent plot in all this, as I just have too many ideas. I mostly just want to write scenes of cynical dreamer Ari and crazy truth-seeking San. I've decided to make San's motivation is finding the truth about what he is, although he's still fascinated by humans and science. Ari still wants the crown as always because he's a punk like that.